McDonald’s, the worlds largest fast food chain, serves millions of people all over the world every day. It’s known for things such as Ronald McDonald, the Big Mac, as well as the playplace that is a part of almost every store.

While Starbucks’ goal is to brainwash all of the adults of the world with its coffee, pastries, and coffeehouse music, the goal of McDonald’s is to brainwash the children of the world with the food, toys, and other things. But what’s the purpose of the brainwashing? To have their own personal zombie army? Nope, it’s so they can make millions of dollars, something that very few corporations try to do now. Most companies make money so they can take over the world, but McDonald’s is using the money just so they can get rich.

One of the primary ways McDonald’s achieves this is through Ronald McDonald, the mascot of the chain that is a clown. What most people don’t realize is that a lot of kids are scared of clowns, even though it’s hard to tell if they like them or not. Ronald McDonald is a scare tactic to sell more food and thus make more money. Disturbing, I know, but it is completely true.

The food is also another way. Many adults think the food tastes gross, but that’s because we are immune to its intoxicating effects, while the children are not. One clue to this is the “Happy Meal”, which the iconic kids meal that everyone knows. But there is a secret. If you ask the cashier for a Happy Meal “with extra happy”, they will look at you funny, because normal people do not want anything to be extra happy.

And recently, McDonald’s started a program where you can rent DVDs for $1 a day from kiosks outside of the restaurant. This is yet another tactic to brainwash the children of the world. The parents will rent a movie, they will watch it with their children, and the subliminal messages in the videos will transfer to the children.

If you think what McDonald’s is doing is disturbing, then you’re not alone. Join me and the others to boycott this golden threat. You must think of the children, after all.